Same Shades of Grey

Why Am I gay? What is this weird attraction I have to the same sex? Is it normal to be this way?  These are the many questions, many homosexuals and lesbians ask themselves. The World seems to have this impenetrable perception, that gay people have it all mapped out. As though they are a different species of people, and their brains are wired in an outer-world type of way. Well, Surprise! Surprise! That isn’t true. They are human beings just like heterosexuals. In life, there are some people who feel like they have it all planned out, and there are some of us who are like a deers caught in head lights. We are all a mixture of different personal characteristics, we think differently, and we all have different experiences. As a result of these similar differences, it is crucial to understand that much like everyone else gays go through a state of confusion and uncomfortability. They didn’t just wake up one morning and decide to be attracted to the same sex. This way of thinking brings forth a state of uneasiness. It is a build up of years of pain, struggles, and trying to find ones self. Which is a struggle that every human being goes through, it is a natural state of living. What is the difference between the struggles of establishing who you are and how it effects your sexual preference? And the struggles of trying to find your self and how it relates to inflicting pain on one’s self ? There is no difference between the two, because the main objective is finding yourself. In high school I was friends with girl who was a Lesbian. She dressed like a boy, walked like a boy, and even tried to sound like a boy. I even forgot at times that she was a female. It wasn’t after a few years of knowing her, that she opened up to me about being raped by her fathers friends. She expressed to me that her whole life she felt lost, and she had a sense of displacement. Being gay just seemed to be the only normal thing to do, and process of doing so was not easy. The things that she endured stifled her ability to think clearly. Being gay really is not what she wanted, but happened to fall into it as a result of finding control. Her sexuality was under her control, therefore she took control of it. The perception of gays being specialty cases separate from the rest of the world, is just ignorant. They are exactly like the rest of us, just trying to find what makes them happy in the midst of the pain of life. Looking at them differently would only be a slap to the face of those who do so. It would be the kettle calling the pot black, if you will. If  being a homosexual makes someone happy, then there isn’t anything wrong with it. Life its self is so unhappy, if you can find what eases you, do it! We are all just looking for ourselves.